By Patricia Young.
I’ve done it so many times…we all do it at some point in our lives. We tend to compare ourselves to others and then beat ourselves up for not measuring up. Comparison is a joy stealer!
The truth is that when it comes to comparison to others, there is never a win because we end up judging either ourselves or others. When we compare ourselves to others we miss what life is offering to us in that very moment. Happiness occurs when we are able to appreciate what’s around us, how far we’ve come, etc., not wishing we were someone else.
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Here are 5 reasons why you need to stop comparing yourself to others:
- Our self-worth takes a hit every time – we’ll drive ourselves into a downward spiral where we feel miserable and not enough. Here’s the thing, we don’t need to be better than anyone else, we just need to appreciate where we are and who we are. It’s our responsibility to get in touch with our true essence again, and acknowledge and celebrate our strengths and achievements!
- We can’t see our greatness – We are all different, and there’s beauty in our uniqueness. By comparing ourselves to others we wouldn’t be honoring our gifts and talents. We need to seek our own meaning in life; we can’t compare our passions to someone else’s passions. We are all unique, so embrace your uniqueness!
- We’re not seeing the whole picture – when we fall into the comparison trap, we compare ourselves to what we can only perceive on the surface. We don’t know the whole story about that other person and the journey they’ve been through.
- We put the focus on the wrong person – When we constantly compare ourselves to others, we are focusing on other people’s lives instead of our own, which can result in resentment towards them and ourselves, and we can become bitter. We only have control over our own life, so we need to focus on us and see the gift in every experience.
- It’s a waste of time – when we compare to others we are getting distracted and using our precious energy and time in an unproductive way. We wouldn’t appreciate the opportunities that are in front of us. Instead of focusing on the work we are meant to be doing, we are wasting time beating ourselves up, and trying to keep up with others, instead of appreciating who we really are and what we have to offer to the world.
As human beings, we are always growing and evolving. We are always where we are meant to be and we are always becoming more. But at the same time, who we are today is the result of our choices. We are always co-creating. We make decisions every single day. I invite you to be more aware and make conscious decisions to keep going in the direction towards growth and expansion in your life.
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When you catch yourself comparing yourself to another person, just pause and ask yourself some of these questions instead:
- What new goals have you achieved in the last few weeks, months, or the last year?
- What new brave decisions have you made, that have taken your life in a new direction?
- What courageous actions have you taken that have made you know and love yourself better?
- What new stories are you re-writing in your life?
At the end of the day, if you have the need to compare, compare with yourself. Be grateful for what you have, for your achievements, for who you’re becoming every day, and how far you’ve come, so you can continue growing. Gratitude is the key to be present and appreciate all the good that is already in your life.
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Lisa Hutchison LMHC says
We all have fallen into the belief that the grass is greener on the other side. I enjoyed reading the reasons why it is not helpful (very true) and how to help yourself. An important message and one I have used many times with my counseling clients is only compare yourself to yourself! Great post Patricia! xx
Lore Raymond says
Beautifully said, Patricia. I wish all young girls could read this and absorb these truths…what needless suffering would be eliminated! I know that when I compare myself, I sit as a judge, and in that I feel even MORE less than with these lower vibrational thoughts. And truth be told, it’s hard NOT to at times. That’s whatt friends are for-to see you and remind you of your light!
Ruthie Lewis says
Something we need to be reminded of often. Comparison is our worst enemy! Much love
barbparcellswritingalife says
We are as unique as snowflakes. How boring it would be if we were all the same. Great post.
Debra Oakland says
I love your article Patricia. I think many of us grow out of comparing ourselves to others as we become wiser and more in tune with our inner power. Every young girl would benefit from reading your article and save themselves some heartache!
Lea Tran says
Great post, Patricia 🙂 You’re right, comparing yourself to others is a waste of time and talent. Nothing is a fair comparison because we all have unique histories and purposes.
Mihaela Lica Butler says
I totally agree. While I am not comparing myself so much to others in a negative sene (big ego… ) I notice that I have high expectations from others. This is a type of comparison too…
beth says
Positive way to look at comparisons, and like the tweet, keep going in your direction of expansion! I’ll say, yeah I’m human and at times I get in that trap, personally I try to reframe it for myself - from comparison to inspiration.
kelleygrimes says
I love the questions you posed and all the reasons that comparing ourselves to others is spiritual suicide. I especially appreciate the fifth reason that comparing ourselves is a waste of time. Thank you so much Patricia!
Bonnie R. Nussbaum PhD says
I love the idea that comparing ourselves to others isn’t honoring our own gifts and talents. At least we can practice saying, “She’s amazing…and so am I!”
Kailean Welsh says
Great questions for bringing the focus back to where it will serve us best–on ourselves. It’s so easy to get caught in the comparison game, but you are so right in that we each are unique and need to focus on just bringing our special self forward.