By Patricia Young.
Have you ever broken a promise to yourself? I’ve done it many times throughout my life, and have gotten so much better at not letting myself down in the last few years. But I was about to do it a few days ago…I had to make a big decision that involved a great investment of money and, even though I was very excited about it, I was also feeling very scared and the energy was very dense. I felt a lot of contraction.
So, I took my time, sat with it and asked myself where was this coming from because I know that sometimes it’s just fear that gets in the way, but this time, it felt different…and all of a sudden, it hit me! I remembered that I had recently listened to a Podcast where Carrie Wilkerson was being interviewed, and she was saying that a lot of us tend to break the promises to ourselves because we want what’s now, instead of what’s best. She mentioned a quote by Zig Ziglar that said: “we need to stop giving up what we want most for what we want right now”
OMG, that was the answer! that was the reason for the dense energy and the contraction! So, I had to have that brave conversation with myself, where I had to set clear boundaries and expectations with myself. This reminded me that setting goals and achieving them, running our lives and businesses, and having balance and boundaries, is about making some promises to ourselves AND keeping those promises.
I had promised myself that I wouldn’t get into debt again, unless it was strictly necessary, an emergency or something that I knew would bring a return on investment. This investment represented breaking that promise to myself, that’s why there was a big disconnect and, energetically, it felt so out of alignment. I just had to reconnect with what I wanted most again.
I wonder, what have you promised to yourself lately? Is that promise working during certain times only, eating healthier, exercising more consistently, working on your relationships, saving some money, paying off debt? Whatever it is, we have to have a conversation with ourselves about what we will allow ourselves to get away with. There have to be negotiables and non-negotiables.
Everything starts with us getting super clear and saying to ourselves what is non-negotiable in our personal life and career or business life; and then, getting clear on what is negotiable. When we are clear with ourselves, it makes it easier to be consistent and have brave conversations with other people as well. The key is to be decisive about our boundaries and stop making exceptions, so we can keep those promises to ourselves.
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Think about it, it’s hard for us to have trust and confidence in ourselves when we keep breaking promises to ourselves. And, how can others have confidence in us, if we don’t trust or have confidence in ourselves, right?
Here are 5 Steps for Keeping Promises to Yourself:
- Create Sacred Space – Sit in silence for a few minutes and connect with yourself (preferably in a space that you find relaxing). Give yourself permission to get the clarity you need about what is non-negotiable and what is negotiable in your life, business or job.
- Write Them Down – You can use a beautiful journal that inspires you. There’s a special kind of magic when you write down your promises to yourself. Be specific but keep it simple. You can start with small promises so you can start collecting evidence and building your own trust.
- Revisit Your Journal Daily – Connect energetically with your promises by reading them every morning and evening. You can also create notes that you can keep visible, or set up reminders on your phone during the day.
- Keep Track of Your Progress – Journal about your progress. Reflect on your wins and your challenges. Think about what you are doing well, and what you need to continue to improve.
- Celebrate Yourself! - Following through not only gives you satisfaction, and a sense of great achievement, but it also raises the trust and confidence in yourself. Make sure you honor yourself by doing something special to celebrate you!
I invite you to ask yourself: “What do I want most?” What are your biggest goals in every major category in your life, for example: spiritually, financially, professionally, emotionally? What do you want more than anything? And then, when you’re really clear on what you want most, ask yourself: “What am I doing now that is slowing my progress towards what I want most”?
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Christy says
Thanks so much for sharing your experience and these valuable tips! 💕
Virginia Reeves says
What is best for me? Such a good question. We do get distracted (I’ve done it too many times). When we do as Patricia suggests: asking what do I really want and will this ‘thing’ help me progress towards it or not - we’ll not have that dense feeling.
debrareble1 says
Great article Patricia and one that I needed to read today! I’ve been breaking some promises to myself lately and need to lighten up and love myself!
Rachel Kieffer says
This is a powerful post Patricia and i will be sharing it with my tribe. I especially love starting with small promises that are easy to keep to renew our trust in ourselves.
Jan Deelstra says
Thank you so much for this. It’s an inspiring reminder that fed my soul. xo
Lea Tran says
Oh my goodness, I love this, Patricia! What a great post. I like the idea of reflecting on the question of what you want most vs. what you want now. Brilliant 🙂 Thank you.
barbparcellswritingalife says
I follow many of these ideas and have been much better at keeping my promises to myself.
Sheila Callaham says
Excellent article Patricia — I’m going to start writing down my promises to myself now! Thank you for sharing. <3
Julie says
Thanks Patrica, you always have excellent tips
Peggy Nolan says
I love the quote you shared! “we need to stop giving up what we want most for what we want right now.” Yes! Absolutely YES. <3