By Patricia Young.
Everybody wants to be happy and live a life filled with joy, fulfillment, prosperity and freedom, but only a few are the brave ones that do the work to really achieve this. Believe me, it doesn’t happen as if by magic, we really need to do the work.
It all starts by becoming more aware of who we really are and what we are all about - what we like, what we don’t like, what we envision for our life. We just have to see this learning process, as a part of the beautiful journey of self-discovery, that will empower us to live life in our own terms. When we know ourselves deeply, we will be able to live life by design, and we will not let life dictate the terms to us.
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If you’re not living the life you say you want, you need to let go of:
- “Shoulding” yourself – get clarity on what you really want. Don’t make decisions based on what other people think you “should” do. Not knowing what you want will keep you stuck in a rut, living life on auto-pilot and living life based on other people’s expectations. Like poet Mary Oliver said: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
- Focusing on what you think is not working – focus on what’s right, on your blessings and how far you’ve come. When you do this, you start seeing your life from a more positive perspective.
- Perfectionism – Perfectionism leads to procrastination and analysis-paralysis. If you fall into the perfectionism trap, you will find yourself stuck and not moving forward. Just keep in mind that you are always good enough the way you are now, and that the best way to live courageously is by taking imperfect action, instead of perfect inaction.
- Comparing yourself to others – Comparing yourself to others leads to self-judgment. You are unique. I invite you to see this from a different perspective, and think about how amazing it is that you get the opportunity to be your own unique self, and show who you truly are to the world, while you shine your light and make a difference!
- Using past experiences to label yourself – You’re not broken, you’re not a mess, you don’t need to be fixed. Whatever happened to you is not who you really are, don’t label yourself. Just tell yourself “I have the power to decide who I want to be from now on”
- Blaming others or circumstances – when you do this, you’re seeing yourself as a victim and you can’t become the empowered person you’re meant to be. As long as we give power to our old conditionings, other people and our current circumstances, we will get the same results over and over again.
- Letting fear control your life – develop the habit of taking action despite of feeling fear. Courage is a habit that can be developed and when you tap into it, it really means that you let your fear transform you. Fear will definitely shine a light on what needs to be healed in your life, so you can grow and expand. If you want to live a courageous life, you need to give yourself permission to s-t-r-e-t-c-h. Growth will always come when you step up and step outside of your comfort zone, and when you are open to learn from every one of your experiences.
Remember, it all starts with you… To be the person we want to be and have the life we want to have, we have to take down every wall we put up, and reconnect with every part of ourselves that we shot down while we were growing up, to protect us and keep us safe, but that are not serving us anymore, including our joy, vulnerability, courage and really owning and honoring our uniqueness and individual path in life.
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Allow yourself to flow with life and give yourself the gift of being willing to step up. At the end of the day, only you have the power to choose if you want to live a life full of comfort and safety, but feeling stuck; or a life full of growth and expansion, where you make courage a habit and inspire others to step out of their comfort zone as well, so they too can live a more authentic and fulfilled life.
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christy says
Great tips Patricia! Thanks for the nice reminder that courage is a habit that can be developed. 😊
Reba Linker says
This is such a wonderful list, Patricia. I would love to see it as a poster!
Lisa Hutchison says
Great piece Patricia! You hit the nail right on the head. It takes courage to let go, trust and go with the flow yet that is where the most rewarding life is. xx
Rachel says
That is a powerful list to live by, thank you.
Suzie Cheel says
I drew the letting do card today and you post reinforces for me the important of letting go and truly believing in and loving ourselves thanks xxoo
Robin Ann Reid says
Love the phrase, “…give yourself the gift of being willing to step up.” Being willing IS the gift - all else follows. Thanks for a great blogpost.
Andrea says
I like this a lot — especially your second point. Too many people undermine themselves by giving precious mental real estate to “the dark side.”
Alex BrattyAlex says
Love this, Patricia and you’re right on with these 7 points! 🙂
Claudia LeBaron Islas says
This is wonderful Patricia! I teach self-empowerment and love the 7 points you have listed here. I will be sharing with my audience for sure. Thank you for writing about this. More and more of us should write about knowing ourselves intimately.
Virignia Reeves says
Give yourself permission to stretch. So important. I agree with others, very strong points to taking good care of yourself.