By Patricia Young.
One of the keys to success in life and business is having a clear vision, and the ability of setting goals and making a plan to accomplish them. Having clarity on what you want and staying focused by setting goals, will enable you to do the work you want to do and become the person you want to become.
If you don’t know what you want or where you’re headed, it’s hard to get moving in the right direction, and you’ll find yourself feeling overwhelmed because you’re getting distracted, scattered and fear that you will never achieve meaningful goals.
Knowing what we most desire to accomplish (or become) affects our lives in important ways. It impacts what we think about, and it changes the way we spend our time, our money and our energy. Having clarity really brings focus to our lives. When you don’t know what you want your intentions are scattered.
I’ve found that some people don’t know how to answer the question: “What do you want to create next year?”. They are more connected to what they don’t want (the contrast), and even though some people might see this as resistance, being negative or pessimistic, this contrast will actually help bring clarity to the surface.
The one gift found in Contrast…
Sometimes it’s easier to start connecting with the contrast and get clear from that place. When you flip it to the other side or upside down, you get your clarity!
So I invite you to pay attention and see how life is speaking to you. See if you feel a longing for something to do, to be, to create. What would make you feel vibrantly alive? But also, equally important, pay attention, and see if there is a discontent that makes you feel frustrated, constricted or closed in. This could shine a light on what you really want.
Let’s play with a few examples of things that you might not want - the contrast:
- You don’t want to continue working for someone else.
- You don’t want to be in a toxic relationship.
- You don’t want to struggle with weight problems.
Each of these frustrations are clues to what is important to you, and when you know what’s important to you, you can begin to craft a plan for the new reality that you want to create. If you are experiencing contrast today, take a moment to be grateful for that contrast. Contrast is here to bring you great clarity!
Now, let’s turn these around so you can get clear on what you really want. What would be the opposite?
- I want to have the freedom of doing what I love and work my own hours.
- I want to be in a loving and respectful relationship
- I want to feel better, look better and have more energy.
As you get clear on what you want, you also need clarity on what it will take to create this vision – Which strengths will you need to call upon to create your vision and why? I.e: connect more with your intuition, be more committed to your mission, create a plan and follow through, get support, etc.
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Bonnie Nussbaum says
Love the idea of looking at what we DON’T want to get to what we DO want. Thanks for a great article, Patricia!
Patricia Young says
Thanks Bonnie! 🙂
Virginia Reeves says
Patricia - good technique to use reverse psychology on yourself by beginning with what you don’t want and turning it upside down to what you do want. When we look at what is dragging us down and question “Why am I doing this ?” it can help get creative and more focused on where we would prefer to put thoughts and energy.
Patricia Young says
Thanks Virginia! 🙂
Peggy Nolan says
Not too long ago I “woke up” and realized that I had created exactly what I wanted - yes, I work for someone else, but I am not tied to an office M-F, 8-5. I can work from anywhere as long as I have wifi. I spent a month in Ireland when my grandson was born - I worked and played from there. In less than 6 weeks, I’ll be working from Key West for the first 56 days of 2017. Thoughts become things 🙂
Lisa Tener says
Wow, Peggy, That is so inspiring! What a blessing to have work that gives you so much freedom.
Patricia Young says
So happy for you! and yes, thoughts become things when we also take inspired action 🙂
Lisa Hutchison LMHC says
A great way to work with what you do not want, to get what you want! Great technique and blog Patricia. xx
Patricia Young says
Thanks Lisa! 🙂
Sheila Callaham says
Contrast is a powerful servant! Thank you!
Patricia Young says
It is! 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
debrareble1 says
I find contrast or knowing what we don’t want so helpful in clarifying what we do want. For many of my clients and myself, it’s a great way to start to be clear about your intentions. thank you Patricia for your insights. xo
Patricia Young says
My pleasure Debra! thanks for stopping by <3
Lisa Tener says
How timely, Patricia. I was thinking that perhaps in this election where so many people feel distressed, we will also see an opportunity in the contrast!
Patricia Young says
So true, I agree with you Lisa! Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Lea Tran says
Ah, yes. It can be just as important to pay attention to what we don’t want - and then to take the steps in the opposite direction.
Reba Linker says
This is a useful tool on gaining clarity about what we want. Thank you, Patricia.
Zeenat {PositiveProvocations.com} says
Love your perspective Patricia!
xoxo, Z~